How'd You Get Th

Jill went to her doctor for a check-up. when asked how she got the bruises on the outside of her thighs, she explained that she got them from having sex.The doctor then told her she would have to change positions until the bruises healed.Jill replied „Oh doctor, I can’t… my dog’s breath is just murder.”

I have bad and very bad news

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.Patient: 24 hours! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Zaszufladkowano do kategorii medical

Bedroom Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. „Hurry!” she said, „stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. „Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. „Just pretend you’re a statue.”"What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired as he entered the room. „Oh, it’s just a statue,” she replied nonchalantly. „The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too.”No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.”Here,” he said to the ‘statue’, „eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water.”

WHITNEY AND DAIVD

hello
one day david kiss whitney
lol lol lol lol
she said lets have a christmas party science
its…
march
i saw them walking like a real couple
daivd love whitney
whitney long
or
daivd hagan
lol
i love daivd
from withney

Baking bread

Holiday Banana Bread:

Ingredients: 2 laughing eyes, 2 loving arms, 2 well shaped legs, 2 firm milk containers, 1 fur-lined mixing bowl, 1 large banana.

Instructions:

1 – look into laughing eyes and hold loving arms.

2 – Spread well shaped legs slowly.

3 – Squeeze & massage milk containers until the fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased, check with middle finger.

4 – Add banana, work up and down until well creamed.

5 – Lower nuts and sigh with relief, when banana is soft, bread is done!

6 – Be sure to wash mixing utensils, but, „do not lick the bowl.”

NOTE: If bread rises, leave town.

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis

Zaszufladkowano do kategorii other