There was this couple, Mary and John, who believed they would return in another life.
They got married and, as part of their wedding vows, promised that if one died, the other would attend a s�ance exactly four weeks later and contact the other.
Twenty happy years later, the man dies, and the woman, Mary, sticks to her vow and visits a s�ance four weeks later. It went something like this: Mary: „Is there anybody there? I’m seeking my deceased husband John. Is he there?”
Strange, booming voice: „Mary? Is that you, Mary?”
Mary: „Yes John, is that you?”
John: „Yes, it’s me.”
Mary: „How are things where you are, John? What’s it like?”
John: „Great, Mary. Everyday after breakfast we make love until lunchtime, which lasts about half-hour, and then we make love until dinner. After dinner, we make love until we fall asleep. It’s great. I can’t wait until you get here.”
One afternoon Superman was out flying around. Crime was slow that day, so he decided to go over to Spiderman’s house.
Supe: „Hey Spidey, let’s go get a burger and a beer!”
Spidey: „No can do, Supe. I’ve got a problem with my Web-shooter. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it”.
So Superman heads over to the Bat Cave.
Supe: „Hey, Batman! Let’s go get a burger and a beer!”
Batman: „Not today, my friend. The BatMobile is down and it’s gotta be fixed. Can’t fight crime tomorrow without it”
Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air. Cruising around, he flies over a penthouse apartment balcony where none other than Wonder Woman is lying, spread-eagle and stark-naked. Supe gets a brilliant idea: „They’ve always said I’m faster than a speeding bullet and I’ve always wondered what she’d be like with all her Wonder Powers.”
So he zooms down, does her in a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden Wonder Woman sits up and says, „What was that!?!”
The Invisible Man gets off her and replies, „I don’t know, but my ass hurts like hell!”
A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to „GOD, USA”, hey decided to send it to President Clinton. Bill was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read; „Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95.”